How to Write a Letter to Someone You Lost

There's no right way to grieve, and no perfect letter. This is just a gentle place to start, whenever you're ready.

1. Write to them, not about them

Use "you," not "they." It can feel strange at first, but talking directly to them often opens up things a third-person account doesn't.

2. Say the thing you didn't get to say

Whether it's "I'm sorry," "thank you," or just "I miss you" — this letter is a place for the words that got left unsaid.

3. It's okay if it's not organized

Grief doesn't move in straight lines. Your letter doesn't have to either.

4. Write it in stages if you need to

You don't have to finish it in one sitting. Some people come back to the same letter over weeks or months.